randomsearchproposestats
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"The object in life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to be insane in such a useful way that they can't commit you."
-- Mark Edwards
A drink a day keeps the shrink away.
-- Edward Abbey
There are only two industries that refer to their customers as 'users.'
-- Edward Tufte
A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.
-- Edward Abbey
"The laws of probability, so true in general, so fallacious in particular."
-- Edward Gibbon
"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt."
-- Mark Twain
"Anarchism is founded on the observation that since few men are wise enough to rule themselves, even fewer are wise enough to rule others."
-- Edward Abbey
"Be virtuous and you will be eccentric."
-- Mark Twain
"Familiarity breeds contempt--and children."
-- Mark Twain
"WARNING: This Product Attracts Every Other Piece of Matter in the Universe."
-- Susan Hewitt and Edward Subitzky
The past does not repeat itself, but it rhymes.
-- Mark Twain
"Virtue has never been as respectable as money."
-- Mark Twain
You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance.
-- Edward Flaherty
"When angry, count four; when very angry, swear."
-- Mark Twain
Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
-- Mark Twain
All good work is done in defiance of management.
-- Bob Woodward
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
-- Mark Twain
"Let us swear while we may, for in heaven it wont be allowed."
-- Mark Twain
"Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest."
-- Mark Twain
"In America--as elsewhere--free speech is confined to the dead."
-- Mark Twain
"People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases."
-- Mark Twain
"Homo sapiens, the first truly free species, is about to decommission natural selection, the force that made us.... Soon we must look deep within ourselves and decide what we wish to become."
-- Edward O. Wilson
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-- Mark Twain
"We all live in the protection of certain cowardices which we call our principles."
-- Mark Twain
[The Bible] has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.
-- Mark Twain
I love you enough to nauseate several poets.
-- Sheridyn Woodward
"You can't depend on your judgment when your imagination is out of focus."
-- Mark Twain
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
-- Mark Twain
Bureaucracy is the enemy of innovation.
-- Mark Shepherd (former CEO of Texas Instruments)
"Language is a city to the building of which every human being brought a stone."
-- Mark Twain
I'm opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
-- Mark Twain
"To create man was a fine and original idea; but to add the sheep was tautology."
-- Mark Twain
"Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed."
-- Mark Twain
A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
-- Mark Twain
"If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat."
-- Mark Twain
The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.
-- Mark Twain
"Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in."
-- Mark Twain
Bring ideas in and entertain them royally, for one of them may be the king.
-- Mark Van Doren
"Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we'."
-- Mark Twain
"God, so atrocious in the Old Testament, so attractive in the New--the Jekyll and Hyde of sacred romance."
-- Mark Twain
Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.
-- Mark Twain
"It ain't the parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand."
-- Mark Twain
"Nothing in man is more serious than his sense of humor; it is the sign that he wants all the truth."
-- Mark Van Doren
"Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
-- Mark Twain
"The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are."
-- Mark Twain
"The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug."
-- Mark Twain
"It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress."
-- Mark Twain
The unique operations of the (human) brain are the result of natural selection operating through the filter of culture. They have suspended us between the two antipodal ideals of nature and machine, forest and city, the natural and the artifactual, relentlessly seeking, in the words of geographer Yi-Fu Tuan, an equilibrium not of this world.
-- Edward O. Wilson ("Biophilia")
"In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language."
-- Mark Twain
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a man and a dog."
-- Mark Twain
The man who sets out to carry a cat by its tail learns something that will always be useful and which never will grow dim or doubtful.
-- Mark Twain.
"Everyone makes mistakes. It is what you do afterwards that counts."
"The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them."
-- Mark Twain