161 hits
"I don't know who Jim Henson is but I've heard he has his hand in a lot of things around here."-- Kermit the Frog (in 1972)
Sign in a hotel elevator in Paris:
"Please leave your values at the front desk."
Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn't permanent.
Beware the fury of a patient woman.
We accept the love we think we deserve
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Paul's Law: You can't fall off the floor.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, let the machine get it.
One can't proceed from the informal to the formal by formal means.
"Must... defy... laws... of... physics!"-- The Tick
"I'm not mad at the world... just at all the people in it."
Is not that the nature of men and women--that the pleasure is in the learning of each other?
Democracy is the form of government where everyone gets what the majority deserves.
Television: the bland leading the bland.
Those who speak by the yard and think by the inch should be kicked by the foot.
The future exists first in the imagination, then in the will, then in reality.
I like the kind of people that can hold on to the the feeling they have after the song or movie ends.
"Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Seek what they sought"-- Basho
I'd love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
"The first 80% of software development is the easy part. The hard part is the next 80%"
America is like a melting pot. The people at the bottom get burned, and the scum floats to the top.
In the beginning was the word, and the word was "aardvark".
The bigger they are, the harder they hit.
And the pickles frolicked with the waffles, joyously.
pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source
"All the people stared as if we were both quite insane."-- The Hollies
Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.
Come, let us retract the foreskin of misconception and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.
Alimony: the fee a woman charges for name-dropping.
355/113 -- Not the famous irrational number PI, but an incredible simulation.
The light at the end of a tunnel may be an oncoming train.
People often find it easier to be a result of the past than a cause of the future.
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
The goodness of morals depends upon what the morals say, not just the fact that they are morals.-- Rob Bernardo
Never underestimate the falseness of a generalisation.
What really matters is the name you succeed in imposing on the facts -- not the facts themselves.-- Cohen's Law
"Remember the Golden Rule: Those who have the gold make the rules."
Of all the truths in the world, humor is the most satisfying and often the healthiest.
In the fight between you and the world, back the world.-- Franz Kafka
Hermits have no peer pressure.
Deja moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
It's a joke. Like the funny kind, but different.
A bird in the hand is the best way to eat chicken.
Half of the people in the world are below average.
This must be morning. I never could get the hang of mornings.
Monday is the root of all evil.
2, 3, 3, 37 - the prime factorization of the beast.
Ban the bomb. Save the world for conventional warfare.
Study the past, if you would divine the future.-- Confucius
You measure democracy by the freedom it gives its dissidents, not the freedom it gives its assimilated conformists.-- Abbie Hoffman
"The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are."-- Mark Twain
Laugh, and the world laughs with you. But you know most of them didn't get the joke in the first place, the lying weasels.-- Wade Kwon
If it wasn't for the optimist the pessimist would never know how happy he isn't.
If you're not part of the freaks, you're part of the boredom.-- Perry Farrell
Life is like a dog-sled team; If you ain't the lead dog, the scene never changes.
It's not the men in my life, it's the life in my men.-- Mae West
Heller's Law: The first myth of management is that it exists.
The voters have spoken, the bastards...
"Man gazing at the stars is proverbially at the mercy of the puddles in the road."-- Alexander Smith
Q: Why did the germ cross the microscope?
A: To get to the other slide.
TCP_UP - The 16-bit TCP Urgent Pointer, encoded as the hex representation of the value of the field. The hex string MUST be capitalized since it is urgent. (RFC 3093)
"Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt."-- Herbert Hoover
"I'd like to meet the person who invented sex and see what they're working on now."
The meek shall inherit the earth. The rest of us are going to the stars.-- Robert A. Heinlein
The music is the magic carpet that the other things take naps on.-- Tori Amos
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
After 16 years, MTV has finally completed its de-evolution into the shiny things network.-- The Onion
Spirtle, n: The fine stream from a grapefruit that always lands right in your eye.-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
"News" is just the stuff they use to fill up all the empty space they couldn't sell for advertising.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.-- Steven Wright
Q: Why did the tachyon cross the road?
A: Because it was on the other side.
Lecture, n: Where the notes of the professor become the notes of the student without passing through the mind of either one.
The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. Instead of altering their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts to fit their views ... which can be very uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that needs altering.-- Dr. Who ("Face of Evil")
At the beginning and at the end of love, the two lovers are embarrassed to find themselves alone.-- La Bruyere
Funny. All the wireless people seem to be the marionettes.
Only the good die young. Note the average age in Congress.
"If houses were built the way software is built,
the first woodpecker would bring down civilization."
The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
The law should make men free. The problem is making the law free.
The future ain't what it used to be.
Adultery - two wrong people doing the right thing.
Just as the whole is more than the sum of parts, the forest more than the tree and birds, so is mankind greater than the wanking of its nerds on slashdot.org.
"Do not the most moving moments of our lives find us without words?"
The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.-- H. L. Mencken
Accuracy, n: The vice of being right.
Be alert. The world needs more lerts.
"The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them."-- Mark Twain
There are three sorts of despots. There is the despot who tyrannizes over the body. There is the despot who tyrannizes over the soul. There is the despot who tyrannizes over the soul and body alike. The first is called the Prince. The second is called the Pope. The third is called the People.-- Oscar Wilde
Being in a nudist colony probably takes all the fun out of Halloween.
Law of diminishing IQ:
The IQ of the group is the lowest IQ of a member of the group divided by the number of people in the group.
Domestication is the enemy of romance.
Everything has been thought of before, but the problem is to think of it again.-- Goethe
Arachnoleptic fit, n: The frantic dance performed just after you accidentally walk through a spider web.
Thinking: The talking of the soul with itself.-- Plato
Just because you're not paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get you.-- The Register
QUOTE OF THE DAY: `
It is a good thing to in your mind be able to seperate the artist from the art.
Join the army: meet interesting people, then kill them.
"The biggest disease today isn't leprosy or tuberculosis, but the feeling of being unwanted."-- Mother Theresa
Eat a live toad in the morning, and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
"Don't be afraid to go after what you want to do, and what you want to be. But don't be afraid to be willing to pay the price."-- Lane Frost
Dessert is probably the most important stage of the meal, since it will be the last thing your guests remember before they pass out all over the table.-- The Anarchist Cookbook
"The thing that I'm into is the philosophy of the music. I love the surprise of things, the accidents--just the sound of a word, to try to express them in the best way, so that the emotion is totally revealed."-- Beth Gibbons
The elephant is the only mammal that can't jump.
"If you do not think about the future, you cannot have one."-- John Galsworthy
Conservative: a man who believes nothing should be done for the first time.
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.-- Will Rogers
"One good turn gets most of the blankets"
Microsoft: Re-inventing the square wheel.
A real leader faces the music, even when he doesn't like the tune.
X.400 is the mail system of the future, and I hope it stays that way.-- Erik Fair
The principle difference between a cat and a lie is that the cat has only nine lives.
"Geologists know how to make the bedrock."
Cloning is the sincerest form of flattery.
Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
The world is full of willing people; some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.-- Robert Frost
The applied mathematician can find the solution to any difficulty, whilst the pure mathematician can find the difficulty to any solution.
Aftermath, n: The period following algebra.
He who laughs last found the dirty meaning.
I get my kicks above the .sigline, Sunshine
Renning's Maxim: Man is the highest animal. Man does the classifying.
The more we disagree, the bigger the chance that at least one of us is right.
Proof by omission: The reader may easily supply the details. The other 253 cases are analogous.
"It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution."-- Oscar Wilde
Idle hands are the air guitar's playground (Alas)
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.-- Oscar Wilde
we make happen the stuff we fear will happen
"I think all the boys that write the screaming stuff would write the best love songs... because they have the most to hide. The guys that are in the most pain are usually the ones with the biggest hearts."-- Tori Amos
The BeOS takes the best features from the major operating systems. It's got the power and flexibility of Unix, the interface and ease of use of the MacOS, and Minesweeper from Windows.-- Tyler Riti
Know thyself. If you need help, call the C.I.A.
My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot.
-Ashleigh Brilliant
There are people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.
The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.-- Kierkegaard
It's true that the French have a certain obsession with sex, but it's a particularly adult obsession. France is the thriftiest of all nations; to a Frenchman sex provides the most economical way to have fun. The French are a logical race.-- Anita Loos
You must be the change you wish to see in the world.-- Gandhi
"Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed."-- Mark Twain
What is wanted is not the will to believe but the will to find out, which is the exact opposite.-- Bertrand Russell
The standard you walk past is the standard you accept.
"Microsoft is not the problem. Microsoft is the symptom."-- Eric S. Raymond
PMS, n: the short period of time when women act like men do all the time.
The fact that I know I'm often a fool, but that I also have an IQ a fair bit over a hundred, scares me. What fools the rest of the world must be.
Advisor: The guy who told you how to screw up.
We shame outselves for the sake of simplicity.
"Do not bend the spoon, instead realize the truth."
"The truth?"
"That the spoon effect will be added later by some sort of SGI workstation."
We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.-- T.S. Eliot
Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.-- Ed Howe