65 hits
[American Family Association Targets MTV] Thank God we know we're right; thank God we know we possess the Truth; thank God we know the proper values to give to our children, so that we need not teach them to think for themselves; thank God we have passed beyond the stage of needing to ask questions; thank God we have been given the Vision of the perfect world; thank God we have a decision procedure for telling the difference between Gospel hymns and rock video music. I hope God has a sense of humour, and I hope She doesn't give up on us for following our silly, narrow-minded, self-important ways.-- Joel Parthemore
The chief product of an automated society is a widespread and deepening sense of boredom.-- Cyril Parkinson
"The first 80% of software development is the easy part. The hard part is the next 80%"
"For some part, genius is but an embellishment on focus"
What part of "AWW C'MON, PLEASE??" don't you understand? (T-Shirt)
The moral of the story is that with a contrived example, you can prove anything. Oops. No, that's not what I meant to say.-- Joel Spolsky
If you're not part of the freaks, you're part of the boredom.-- Perry Farrell
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.-- Steven Wright
Every time I have to pipe something into awk I get this mental picture of a big fat seagull with stdin connected at the wrong end.-- Arther van der Harg (a.s.r.)
The BEST part of waking up? Hitting the snooze button and going back to sleep.
Pedestrian, n: The variable (and audible) part of the roadway for an automobile.
"I am not part of the problem; I am a Republican."-- Dan Quayle
It is always easy to see both sides of an issue we are not particularly concerned about.
"Music melts all the separate parts of our bodies together."-- Anais Nin
"It ain't the parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand."-- Mark Twain
"Once a new technology rolls over you, if you're not part of the steamroller, you're part of the road."-- Stewart Brand
"Men are more apt to be mistaken in their generalizations than in their particular observations."-- Machiavelli
Chicken Soup, n.:
An ancient miracle drug containing equal parts of aureomycin, cocaine, interferon, and TLC. The only ailment chicken soup can't cure is neurotic dependence on one's mother.-- Arthur Naiman ("Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish")
Just as the whole is more than the sum of parts, the forest more than the tree and birds, so is mankind greater than the wanking of its nerds on slashdot.org.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.-- Steven Wright
Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good.-- Samuel Johnson
"Anger is natural. It's part of the force. You just have to learn to hang out with it."-- Tori Amos
The more sane often call themselves insane to avoid others' judgement.
Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.-- Mae West
"The laws of probability, so true in general, so fallacious in particular."-- Edward Gibbon
"It's a small apartment, I've barely enough room to lay my hat and a few friends."-- Dorothy Parker
One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.-- Plato
"All the parts falling off this car are of the very finest British manufacture"-- Bumper sticker
I don't want to be understandable. I want to be felt.-- Martha Graham
"In America sex is an obsession; in other parts of the world it is a fact."-- Marlene Dietrich
The older I get, the more I think you ever learn is either further subtleties, or further distractions.
Most children grow up to be adults in spite of their parents, not because of them.
Be alert. The world needs more lerts.
"Tell him I've been too fucking busy - or vice versa."-- Dorothy Parker
"The Net interprets censorship as damage and routes around it."-- John Gilmore
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and the party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entryway, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second part and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties.
The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following. The party of the first part shall, with or without elevation at his or her option, by means of a chair, stepstool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part and rotate the party of the second part in a counter-clockwise direction, this point being tendered non-negotiable. Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part becomes fully detached from the receptacle, the party of the first part shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part in a manner consistent with all relevant and applicable local, state and federal statutes. Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part shall have the option of beginning installation. Aforesaid installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step one of this self-same document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, this point also being non-negotiable. The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part, by any or all agents authorized by him, the objective being to produce the most possible revenue for the Partnership.
To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.-- Bertrand Russell
Darth Vader sleeps with a Teddywookie.
It's a mistake to underestimate the human capacity for self-delusion.-- Robert Park
"You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think."-- Dorothy Parker
Those who do not remember history are doomed to sound silly.-- Carole Ashmore
What a man knows at fifty that he didn't know at twenty is, for the most part, incommunicable.-- Adlai Stevenson
Don't try to be different. Just be good. To be good is different enough.-- Arthur Freed
"Abuse of words has been the great instrument of sophistry and chicanery, of party, faction, and division of society."-- John Adams
The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.-- Dorothy Parker
"The more I watch television, the more I wonder why I'm not already supreme ruler of Earth."-- Dogbert (Dilbert)
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.-- Hannah More
"Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words."-- Dorothy Parker
"Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth."-- Dave Barry
The reward for a job well done is more work.
"Our Age of Anxiety is, in great part, the result of trying to do today's jobs with yesterday's tools."-- Marshall McLuhan
Insanity is the exception in individuals. In groups, parties, people, and times, it is the rule.-- Friedrich Nietzsche
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.-- Arthur C. Clarke
"Advertising reaches out to touch the fantasy part of people's lives. And you know, most people's fantasies are pretty sad."-- Frederik Pohl
The biblical concepts of sin and salvation are an integral part of Christian doctrine. Christianity first creates a problem (sin) and then offers a "solution" (salvation). This is not unlike the protection racket; you either buy "protection"--or else!"-- Domald Morgan