randomsearchproposestats
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"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked.'"
-- Jerry Seinfeld
Baby orang-otans look like surprised coconuts.
-- Terry Pratchett
"I'd probably be famous now if I wasn't such a good waitress."
-- Jane Siberry
"Like most poets, preacher, and metaphysicians, he burst into conclusions at a spark of evidence."
-- Henry Seidel Canby (on Ralph Waldo Emerson)
If you're not part of the freaks, you're part of the boredom.
-- Perry Farrell
"And then the world went mad. All right, madder."
-- Terry Pratchett (Pyramids)
"Truman's Law - If you can't convince them, confuse them."
-- Harry S. Truman
"Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind."
-- Terry Pratchett
Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant "idiot".
-- Terry Pratchett ("The Colour of Magic")
"I read somewhere that 77% of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23% who are apparently doing quite well for themselves."
-- Jerry Garcia
Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
-- Terry Pratchett (Hogfather)
"In the Beginning there was nothing, which exploded."
-- Terry Pratchett (Lords and Ladies)
"You can best serve civilization by being against what usually passes for it."
-- Wendell Berry
Sometimes it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.
-- Terry Pratchett
"Guilt was the grease in which the wheels of the authority turned."
-- Terry Pratchett (Small Gods)
It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.
-- Harry S. Truman
Dickens, as you know, never got round to starting his home page.
-- Terry Pratchett (alt.fan.pratchett)
Don't you talk to me about progress. Progress just means bad things happen faster.
-- Terry Pratchett
This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic.
-- Terry Pratchett (alt.fan.pratchett)
'He says gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something to aim at.'
-- Terry Pratchett (Small Gods)
I try to make computers say things like "You have 60 seconds to achieve safe distance".
-- Terry Pratchett
"A giant woman carrying a screaming ape up a tall building," sighed Dibbler.
-- Terry Pratchett (Moving Pictures)
It wasn't a dark and stormy night. It should have been, but that's the weather for you.
-- Terry Pratchett (Good Omens)
The trouble was that he was talking in philosophy, but they were listening in gibberish.
-- Terry Pratchett (Small Gods)
'If you put butter and salt on it, it tastes like salty butter.'
-- Terry Pratchett (concerning popcorn, Moving Pictures)
The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock, it regularly went cuckoo.
-- Terry Pratchett (Wyrd Sisters)