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A drink a day keeps the shrink away.
-- Edward Abbey
All good work is done in defiance of management.
-- Bob Woodward
I love you enough to nauseate several poets.
-- Sheridyn Woodward
Civil disobedience is not our problem. Our problem is civil obedience. Our problem is that numbers of people all over the world have obeyed the dictates of the leaders of their government and have gone to war, and millions have been killed because of this obedience... Our problem is that people are obedient all over the world in the face of poverty and starvation and stupidity, and war, and cruelty. Our problem is that people are obedient while the jails are full of petty thieves, and all the while the grand thieves are running the country. That's our problem.
-- Howard Zinn
There are only two industries that refer to their customers as 'users.'
-- Edward Tufte
The reward for a job well done is more work.
A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.
-- Edward Abbey
"The laws of probability, so true in general, so fallacious in particular."
-- Edward Gibbon
"Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret."
-- Henry Ward Beecher
Cowardice rules - if that's okay with you.
(graffiti in London)
"Anarchism is founded on the observation that since few men are wise enough to rule themselves, even fewer are wise enough to rule others."
-- Edward Abbey
"WARNING: This Product Attracts Every Other Piece of Matter in the Universe."
-- Susan Hewitt and Edward Subitzky
Rule of Defactualization: Information deteriorates upward through bureaucracies.
You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance.
-- Edward Flaherty
"Homo sapiens, the first truly free species, is about to decommission natural selection, the force that made us.... Soon we must look deep within ourselves and decide what we wish to become."
-- Edward O. Wilson
"Solutions are not the answer."
-- Richard Nixon
Real love stories never have endings.
-- Richard Bach
Nobody ever forgets where he buried a hatchet.
-- Kin Hubbard
"Age is a high price to pay for maturity."
-- Tom Stoppard
Since before the Earth was formed and before the sun burned hot in space, cosmic forces of inexorable power have been working relentlessly toward this moment in space-time -- you receiving this fortune.
"We all live in the protection of certain cowardices which we call our principles."
-- Mark Twain
It's surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you're not comfortable within yourself, you can't be comfortable with others.
-- Sydney J. Harri
"It is better to be quotable than to be honest."
-- Tom Stoppard
The standard you walk past is the standard you accept.
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike.
-- Oscar Wilde
Personally, I'm waiting for caller IQ.
-- Sandra Bernhard
Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.
-- Kin Hubbard
A good listener is usually thinking about something else.
-- Kin Hubbard
The disarmament of fear, in ourselves and those that oppose, propels us. Every step forward brings the possibility of backlash. But forward we go.
-- David G. Welton
Revolution is a trivial shift in the emphasis of suffering.
-- Tom Stoppard
Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.
-- Leonard Brandwein
A penny saved is 2.5 grams of zinc alloy.
A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.
-- Elbert Hubbard
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
-- Gloria Leonard
Some people get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid.
-- Kin Hubbard
"All great truths begin as blasphemies."
-- George Bernard Shaw
A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.
-- Kin Hubbard
You can lead a boy to college, but you cannot make him think.
-- Elbert Hubbard
"The country has charms only for those not obliged to stay there."
-- Edouard Manet
"I was not lying. I said things that later on seemed to be untrue."
-- Richard Nixon
"What are our schools for if not indoctrination against Communism?"
-- Richard Nixon
I listen so that I may decipher the mystery of myself and become more whole.
-- Richard Moss
"Television is to news as bumperstickers are to philosophy."
-- Richard M. Nixon
"It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end."
-- Ursula K. Le Guin
"There is no abstract art. You must always start with something. Afterward you can remove all traces of reality."
-- Pablo Picasso
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
-- Elbert Hubbard
The unique operations of the (human) brain are the result of natural selection operating through the filter of culture. They have suspended us between the two antipodal ideals of nature and machine, forest and city, the natural and the artifactual, relentlessly seeking, in the words of geographer Yi-Fu Tuan, an equilibrium not of this world.
-- Edward O. Wilson ("Biophilia")
"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves."
-- August Strindberg
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
-- Kierkegaard
I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.
-- George Bernard Shaw
"It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid."
-- George Bernard Shaw
Q: How many existentialists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to screw it in and one to observe how the lightbulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
"In My Egotistical Opinion, most people's C programs should be indented six feet downward and covered with dirt."
-- Blair P. Houghton