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And the pickles frolicked with the waffles, joyously.
"A child prodigy is one with highly imaginative parents."
"Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite."
Even if you're paranoid, maybe the guy with the chainsaw really is after you.
Q: What's tiny and yellow and very, very, dangerous?
A: A canary with the super-user password.
"There is nothing wrong with the software that rm won't cure."-- Arnie Romo
Rhetorical subtlety doesn't work on people with the perceptive powers of an eggplant.-- Spencer Sun
Nine-tenths of the people were created so you would want to be with the other tenth.-- Horace Walpole
Accordion, n: A bagpipe with pleats.
In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" came out as "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead."
Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.-- Jules Renord
No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy.-- Henry Kissinger
"If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat."-- Mark Twain
"The murals in restaurants are on a par with the food in museums."-- Peter De Vries
"Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished."-- Goethe
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.-- Emerson
The nuclear arms race is like two sworn enemies standing waist deep in gasoline, one with three matches, the other with five.-- Dr. Carl Sagan
...people with a moebius strip of a mind...
"My work always tried to unite the true with the beautiful; but when I had to choose one or the other, I usually chose the beautiful."-- Hermann Weyl
The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.-- Henry David Thoreau
"Sometimes the need to mess with their heads outweighs the millstone of humiliation."-- Fox Mulder (The X-Files)
Anybody that wants the presidency so much that he would spend two years campaigning and organizing for it should not be trusted with the office.
Clique: A group of insiders who greet outsiders with their backsides; a closed circle of asses. (Cynic's Dictionary)
There has been opposition to every innovation in the history of man, with the possible exception of the sword.-- Benjamin Dana
"Confronted with the choice, the American people would choose the policeman's truncheon over the anarchist's bomb.-- Spiro T. Agnew
Funny. All the wireless people seem to be the marionettes.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so sure of themselves but wiser people are full of doubts.-- Bertrand Russell
All New: The software is not compatible with any previous version.
"When people are bored, it is primarily with their own selves that they are bored."-- Eric Hoffer
Maybe that explains Perl: Larry Wall let a kitten have its way with the bash, sed, and expr doc, then implemented the result.-- Jay Maynard
X-Chromosome: A genetic double-cross that empowers women with the ability to bear children and reserves for men the right to be color-blind hemophiliacs. (Cynic's Dictionary)
Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it.
A man with one watch knows what time it is; a man with two watches is never quite sure.
Why do people settle their minds? When they see or while they know that about 3 billion other people don't agree with them, why do they hardly consider a serious talk with one of them?
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.-- Mark Twain
I wouldn't touch the Metric System with a 3.048m pole.
There is much to be said in favor of modern journalism. By giving us the opinions of the uneducated, it keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community.-- Oscar Wilde
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.-- Susan Ertz
"They are wrong who say that love is blind. On the contrary, nothing - not even the smallest detail - escapes the eyes; one sees everything in the loved one, notices everything; but melts it all into one flame with the great and simple: �I love you.�"
"I think all the boys that write the screaming stuff would write the best love songs... because they have the most to hide. The guys that are in the most pain are usually the ones with the biggest hearts."-- Tori Amos
For a long time it puzzled me how something so expensive, so leading edge, could be so useless, and then it occurred to me that a computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things. They are, in short, a perfect match.-- Bill Bryson
"If pigs could vote, the man with the slop bucket would be elected swineherd everytime, no matter how much slaughtering he did on the side."-- Orson Scott Card
Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.
And so, the children of the revolution were faced with the age-old problem: it wasn't that you had the wrong kind of government, which was obvious, but that you had the wrong kind of people.-- Terry Pratchett (Night Watch)
Don't you think that with the proper amount of manpower, pliers, ropes, belts and duct tape, you actually COULD lead a horse to water AND make it drink?-- Andy Overman
The future exists first in the imagination, then in the will, then in reality.
Anyone with a bit of intelligence and enough perseverance could do magic, which was why the wizards cloaked it with rituals and the whole pointy-hat business.
The trick was to do magic and get away with it.-- Terry Pratchett (Moving Pictures)
First law of debate: Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
"Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we'."-- Mark Twain
"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention in human history, with the possible exception of handguns and tequila."-- Mitch Radcliffe