Quotes

71 hits

There is perhaps no phenomenon which contains so much destructive feeling as moral indignation, which permits envy or hate to be acted out under the guise of virtue.
-- Erich Fromm

Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.
-- Rich Kulawiec

Spirtle, n: The fine stream from a grapefruit that always lands right in your eye.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Banectomy, n: The removal of bruises on a banana.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

The intensity comes from meaning, not from extremes.

You aren't appealing to my sense of voyeurism.
-- Stevie Ulrich

I love stress because it's a whole lot better than depression.
-- Drew Olbrich

Zipcuffed, adj: To be trapped in one's trousers by a faulty zipper.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Sniglet, n: Any word that doesn't appear in the dictionary, but should.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

Petonic (peh ton' ik), adj: One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a household pet.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Choconiverous, adj: Biting off the head of the chocolate Easter bunny first.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

The last good thing written in C was Franz Schubert's Symphony #9.
-- Erwin Dietrich

"We have art in order not to die of the truth."
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

The rich aren't like us, they pay less taxes.

"In America sex is an obsession; in other parts of the world it is a fact."
-- Marlene Dietrich

Pigslice, n: The last unclaimed piece of pizza that everyone is secretly dying for.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Spagmumps, n: Any of the millions of Styrofoam wads that accompany mail-order items.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Magnocartic, adj: Any automobile that, when left unattended, attracts shopping carts.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Elbonics, n: The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

"In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play."
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

"I told you I was sick."
(from a tombstone in the U.K.)

Aquadextrous, adj: Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

I need to get a life. I have a neat counselor though, which is, I guess a convenient substitute.
-- Stevie Ulrich

Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

"We all know god invented liquor to keep the Irish from ruling the world."
(The Ghost and The Darkness)

Headline: Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One

Bathquake, n: The violent quake that rattles the entire house when the water faucet is turned on to a certain point.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Christianity poisoned Eros, but Eros did not die, it merely degenerated into a vice.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

Many a man fails to become a thinker for the sole reason that his memory is too good.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

In a cemetery:
"Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves."

Pedaeration, n: Achieving the perfect body heat by having one leg under the sheet and one hanging off the edge of the bed.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

I don't understand men, women, sheep, grass, or computers. Understanding is for those too weak to handle confusion.
-- Stevie Ulrich

"Mystical explanations are considered deep. The truth is that they are not even superficial."
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

Majority, n: That quality that distinguishes a crime from a law.

Insanity is the exception in individuals. In groups, parties, people, and times, it is the rule.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

Circumpopulate (sur kum pop' yew layt'), v: To finish off a popsicle "laterally" because the "frontal" approach causes one to gag.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music."
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

"Virtual" means never knowing where your next byte is coming from.

One can't proceed from the informal to the formal by formal means.

Lactomangulation - n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk carton so badly that one has to resort to using the "illegal" side.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Table Snorkeling (tay' bul snawrk' ling), n: Frantic gesticulations when one bites into hot food and has to take in air to cool it off.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Sufficiently advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice

Thermalophobia (thur muh lo fo' be uh), n: The fear when showering that someone will sneak in, flush the toilet, and scald you to death.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche (On Reading and Writing)

Seminars, n.: From `semi' and `arse', hence, any half-assed discussion.

Any sufficiently optimistic statement is indistinguishable from sarcasm.

Nerb, n: a noun used as a verb. For example: ''They didn't language the proclamation very well''. nerb, nerbing, nerbed v. the act of using nouns as verbs in a sentence.
-- Rich Hill

Squanderprint (skwan' duhr print), n: Directions that try to make you use up a product faster than you normally would. (Ex.: Apply shampoo. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.)
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Creepy music coming from a cemetery should always be investigated more closely.

It is a good thing to in your mind be able to seperate the artist from the art.

Anticiparcellate (an ti si par' sel ate), v: Waiting until the mailman is several houses down the street before picking up the mail, so as not too appear too anxious.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

A sufficiently optimistic statement is indistinguishable from social sycophancy.

Accountant - someone who can put two and two together and make a living from it.

Never run from anything immortal. It only attracts their attention.
(The Last Unicorn)

Intuition comes from experience, that experience comes from failure, and that failure comes from trying.
-- Paul Snively (Lambda the Ultimate weblog)

"What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary."
-- Richard Harkness

"The essence of intelligence is skill in extracting meaning from everyday experience."

Maybe you can keep me from ever being happy, but you're not gonna stop me from having fun.
-- Ani Difranco

Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make them all yourself.

Bozone, n: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.

Progress, n: The process through which the Internet has evolved from smart people in front of dumb terminals to dumb people in front of smart terminals.

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
-- Rich Cook

The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.
(Steel Magnolias)

Ad from newspaper:
'Dinner Special--Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.'

Call on God, but row away from the rocks.
-- Indian proverb

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
-- Woody Allen

Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.
-- Carl Jung

"I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers."
-- Kahlil Gibran

On applause: They named it Ovation from the Latin ovis, a sheep.
-- Plutarch