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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
(Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina)

"Abuse of words has been the great instrument of sophistry and chicanery, of party, faction, and division of society."
-- John Adams

A sufficiently optimistic statement is indistinguishable from social sycophancy.

It says a lot about the US when they ban lawn darts but you can still buy semi-automatic weapons in a department store.
-- Brian Manz