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QoS means I don't have enough bandwidth, but if you pay me extra money I'll drop someone else's packets instead of yours.-- Dave Rand
Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.
"There is a fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness'."-- Dave Barry
Remember: Silly is a state of Mind, Stupid is a way of Life.-- Dave Butler
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.-- Dave Edison
"I don't know what caffeine does for you, but I'm pretty sure without it your head caves in"-- Dave (News Radio)
"So you think that money is the root of all evil. Have you ever asked what is the root of all money?"-- Ayn Rand
"That's a hell of an ambition, to be mellow. It's like wanting to be senile."-- Randy Newman
Say what you like about me, but sometimes I wish that I were really rich and didn't have to work. And also handsome.-- Dave George
"Jacob Sullum has produced a thoughtful, sane, and logical analysis of our drug laws. Is that even legal?"-- Dave Barry
I think if you really like a girl you have to pay a lot of attention to her. But try telling that to those jerks on the jury.-- Dave George
Camels have 3 eyelids.
When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer.-- Dave Barry
I told my girlfriend last night how much I loved her, and she said that I must have been out drinking again. I asked her why she would say that, and she said, 'Because I'm your father.'-- Dave George
"Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth."-- Dave Barry
Why serial commas are important: "I dedicate this book to my parents, Ayn Rand and God."
Grammar is not a vice (though excessive picking at it can be). And nonstandard words/grammar can be used to good effect--but no one can do that without knowing how they're deviating.-- Randy Clark
"You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses."-- Ziggy
My karma ran over my dogma.
Hermits have no peer pressure.