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Death (your own): This will be accepted as an excuse, but we shall require two weeks notice, as we feel it is your duty to teach someone else your job. (Corporate sick leave policy)
"In corporate religions as in others, the heretic must be cast out not because of the probability that he is wrong but because of the possibility that he is right."-- Antony Jay
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
"Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."
Sign in a hotel elevator in Paris:
"Please leave your values at the front desk."
How do you know if honesty is the best policy unless you've tried some of the others?