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Don't you think that with the proper amount of manpower, pliers, ropes, belts and duct tape, you actually COULD lead a horse to water AND make it drink?
-- Andy Overman

My karma ran over my dogma.

"Everybody winds up kissing the wrong person good night."
-- Andy Warhol

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo.
-- Andy Finkel

Glamour is that indefinable something about a girl who has a large bosom.
-- Andy Rothman

I don't like to spread gossip, but what else can you do with it?
-- Sandy Hereld

"That's a hell of an ambition, to be mellow. It's like wanting to be senile."
-- Randy Newman

The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.
-- Andy Tanenbaum

What goes around usually gets dizzy and falls over.

You will trip and fall over a three-eared cat today

Headline: Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

One can overstate anything. Your advertising depends on it.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
-- Andy Rooney

"My work always tried to unite the true with the beautiful; but when I had to choose one or the other, I usually chose the beautiful."
-- Hermann Weyl

People are always so boring when they band together. You have to be alone to develop all the idiosyncrasies that make a person interesting.
-- Andy Warhol

Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn't permanent.

To learn who rules over you, find out who you are not allowed to criticize

Organized Religion is like Organized Crime; it preys on peoples' weakness, generates huge profits for its operators, and is almost impossible to eradicate.
-- Mike Hermann

The key is to commit crimes so confusing that police feel too stupid to even write a crime report about them.
-- Randy K. Milholland (Something Positive Comic, 2001-10-30)

The UNIX system has a command, 'nice', which allows a user to voluntarily reduce the priority of his process, in order to be nice to other users. Nobody ever uses it.
-- Andy Tanenbaum