Quotes

37 hits

In a lecture on dairy physics: "We have on the left a spherical cow of uniform density, on the right is a spherical hay stack of uniform density. The two are separated by an infinite fence of infinitesimal thickness delta. Now, before looking at the governing relationships...let's make some assumptions."
-- Alain Bouchard

"Solutions are not the answer."
-- Richard Nixon

Real love stories never have endings.
-- Richard Bach

"I was not lying. I said things that later on seemed to be untrue."
-- Richard Nixon

"What are our schools for if not indoctrination against Communism?"
-- Richard Nixon

I listen so that I may decipher the mystery of myself and become more whole.
-- Richard Moss

"Television is to news as bumperstickers are to philosophy."
-- Richard M. Nixon

"All dogmas perish the thinking mind, especially ones you agree with."
-- Adam Richardson

"The final delusion is the belief that one has lost all delusions."
-- Maurice Chapelain

There's too much beauty upon this earth for lonely men to bear.
-- Richard Le Gallienne

There are things so deeply personal that they can be revealed only to strangers.
-- Richard Rodriguez

The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool.
-- Richard Feynman

"What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary."
-- Richard Harkness

"You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses."
-- Ziggy

[A] thing is symmetrical if there is something we can do to it so that after we have done it, it looks the same as it did before.
-- Richard Feynman

Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer are called hardware; those program instructions that you can only curse at are software.
-- Richard P. Brennan

"I want a car. Chicks dig the car."
"This is why Superman works alone."
-- Richard Grayson and Bruce Wayne (Batman & Robin)

"People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases."
-- Mark Twain

For years a secret shame destroyed my peace --
I'd not read Eliot, Auden or MacNiece.
But now I think a thought that brings me hope:
Neither had Chaucer, Shakespeare, Milton, Pope.
-- Justin Richardson

"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt."
-- Mark Twain

A writer is someone who writes, and a stinger is something that stings. But fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, haberdashers don't haberdash, hammers don't ham, and humdingers don't humding.
-- Richard Lederer (Crazy English)

"Be virtuous and you will be eccentric."
-- Mark Twain

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
-- Mark Twain

Notice in a hotel lobby in Bucharest:
"The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable."

"Familiarity breeds contempt--and children."
-- Mark Twain

The past does not repeat itself, but it rhymes.
-- Mark Twain

"Virtue has never been as respectable as money."
-- Mark Twain

'It will be happened; it shall be going to be happening; it will be was an event that could will have been taken place in the future'
-- Rimmer trying to explain timetravel (Red Dwarf, "Future Echoes")

"When angry, count four; when very angry, swear."
-- Mark Twain

Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
-- Mark Twain

"Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain -- and most fools do."
-- Dale Carnegie

You probably go to museums and complain that Monet pressed down too hard with his crayons because the picture is all bumpy.
-- John Woods

Ever heard of .cshrc? That's a city in Bosnia. Right?
(Discussion in comp.os.linux.misc on the intuitiveness of UNIX commands)

"There's a very fine line between a groove and a rut; a fine line between eccentrics and people who are just plain nuts."

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
-- Mark Twain

Personally, I'm waiting for caller IQ.
-- Sandra Bernhard

The problem isn't that the victim can't fight, the problem is that they have to. Saying that self-defense classes are the answer to gay bashers is like saying that it would be good if the government stopped prosecuting rape cases and used the money saved to hand out free mace.
-- Richard Caley