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Jason squared his shoulders, drew the Sword of - I couldn't give a toss what it's supposed to be called, he said to himself, I shall call it Freckles - and took one step forward.
-- Tom Holt ("Ye Gods!")

"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God."

"Science has made gods of us before we were even worthy of being men."
-- Jean Rostand

Primus in orbe Deus fecit timor.
"It was fear that introduced gods into the world."

'He says gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something to aim at.'
-- Terry Pratchett (Small Gods)

"Greek mythology says that whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad. I'd never been sure whether 'mad' meant crazy or angry. Either way, the gods were working on me pretty good right now."
-- Darien Fawkes (The Invisible Man)

"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."

Theists think all gods but theirs are false. Atheists simply don't make an exception for the last one.

"God help us both."
"We Lylmik will help you as best we can. You will have to coerce God yourself."

"We need a new cosmology. New Gods. New Sacraments. Another drink."
-- Patti Smith

"If you insist on leaving your fate to the gods, then the gods will repay your weakness by having a grin or two at your expense. Should you fail to pilot your own ship, don't be surprised at what inappropriate port you will find yourself docked."
-- Tom Robbins (Jitterbug Perfume)

"Guilt was the grease in which the wheels of the authority turned."
-- Terry Pratchett (Small Gods)

"One good turn gets most of the blankets"

"Remember the Golden Rule: Those who have the gold make the rules."

The trouble was that he was talking in philosophy, but they were listening in gibberish.
-- Terry Pratchett (Small Gods)

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

Women treat us just as humanity treats its gods. They worship us and are always bothering us to do something for them.
-- Oscar Wilde

Is it red or white wine with Tokyo?
-- David Adler as Godzilla