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Chicken Soup, n.:
An ancient miracle drug containing equal parts of aureomycin, cocaine, interferon, and TLC. The only ailment chicken soup can't cure is neurotic dependence on one's mother.
-- Arthur Naiman ("Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish")
With a rubber duck, one's never alone.
-- Douglas Adams (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
-- Douglas Adams (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
-- Douglas Adams (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
`Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it.'
(Arthur experiencing the improbability drive at work)
-- Douglas Adams (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
-- Douglas Adams (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
Q. What do I say when introduced to a homosexual "couple"?
A. "How do you do? How do you do?"
("Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior")
`Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.'

`Very deep,' said Arthur, `you should send that in to the 'Reader's Digest'. They've got a page for people like you.'
-- Douglas Adams (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
'The main reception foyer was almost empty but Ford nevertheless weaved his way through it.'

(Ford making his way out of Milliways whilst under the influence of enough alchol to make a rhino sing)
(The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
There are of course many problems connected with life, of which some of the most popular are `Why are people born?', `Why do they die?', `Why do they spend so much of the intervening time wearing digital watches?'
(The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
"Eddies," said Ford, "in the space-time continuum."
"Ah," nodded Arthur, "Is he? Is he?"
(Arthur failing in his first lesson of galactic physics in four years)
-- Douglas Adams (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the drug store, but that's just peanuts to space.
-- Douglas Adams (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
"You know they've reintroduced the death penalty for insurance company directors?"
"Really?" said Arthur. "No I didn't. For what offense?"
Trillian frowned. "What do you mean, offense?"
"I see."
-- Douglas Adams (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.
-- Douglas Adams (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
Arthur felt happy. He was terribly pleased that the day was for once working out so much according to plan. Only twenty minutes ago he had decided he would go mad, and now he was already chasing a Chesterfield sofa across the fields of prehistoric Earth.
-- Douglas Adams (Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
"Public opinion sets bounds to every government, and is the real sovereign in every free one."
-- James Madison
"The Hitch Hiker's Guide has not been an opera. It has however been a tapestry, if you count a woven bath towel as a tapestry."
-- Douglas Adams
'Anything that happens, happens'
'Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen.'
'Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again.'
'It doesn't necessarily do it in chronological order, though.'
-- Douglas Adams (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarrely inexeplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
-- Douglas Adams (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy radio scripts)
When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad I'm better.
-- Mae West
Every silver lining has a cloud.
"Every murderer is probably somebody's old friend."
-- Agatha Christie
"Every man is afraid of something.That`s how you know he`s in love with you;when he is afraid of losing you"
"The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he really is very good, in spite of all the people who say he is very good."
-- Robert Graves
Reporter to Ghandi: What do you think of western civilisation?
Ghandi: I think it would be a very good idea.