randomsearchproposestats
"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt."
-- Mark Twain
"Be virtuous and you will be eccentric."
-- Mark Twain
"Familiarity breeds contempt--and children."
-- Mark Twain
The past does not repeat itself, but it rhymes.
-- Mark Twain
"Virtue has never been as respectable as money."
-- Mark Twain
"When angry, count four; when very angry, swear."
-- Mark Twain
Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
-- Mark Twain
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
-- Mark Twain
"Let us swear while we may, for in heaven it wont be allowed."
-- Mark Twain
"Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest."
-- Mark Twain
"In America--as elsewhere--free speech is confined to the dead."
-- Mark Twain
"People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases."
-- Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-- Mark Twain
"You can't depend on your judgment when your imagination is out of focus."
-- Mark Twain
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
-- Mark Twain
"Language is a city to the building of which every human being brought a stone."
-- Mark Twain
I'm opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
-- Mark Twain
"To create man was a fine and original idea; but to add the sheep was tautology."
-- Mark Twain
"Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed."
-- Mark Twain
A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
-- Mark Twain
"We all live in the protection of certain cowardices which we call our principles."
-- Mark Twain
"If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat."
-- Mark Twain
The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.
-- Mark Twain
"Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in."
-- Mark Twain
"Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we'."
-- Mark Twain
"God, so atrocious in the Old Testament, so attractive in the New--the Jekyll and Hyde of sacred romance."
-- Mark Twain
Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.
-- Mark Twain
"It ain't the parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand."
-- Mark Twain
The man who sets out to carry a cat by its tail learns something that will always be useful and which never will grow dim or doubtful.
-- Mark Twain.
[The Bible] has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.
-- Mark Twain
"Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
-- Mark Twain
"The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug."
-- Mark Twain
"The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are."
-- Mark Twain
"It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress."
-- Mark Twain
"In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language."
-- Mark Twain
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a man and a dog."
-- Mark Twain
"The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them."
-- Mark Twain
"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."

-- Mark Twain
We are always too busy for our children; we never give them the time or interest they deserve. We lavish gifts upon them; but the most precious gift - our personal association, which means so much to them - we give grudgingly.
-- Mark Twain
Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion- several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight.
-- Mark Twain